Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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