pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
