did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
