dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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