I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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