wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
