i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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