That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
