yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
