he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
