I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
