im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
