right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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