I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
