First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize