he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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