its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I touched a dick in church today
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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