I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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