We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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