somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
