One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize