He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
