Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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