Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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