Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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