yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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