I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
