Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Randomize
