he wants to bone in the snuggie
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
