so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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