i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
