I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
