i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize