you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I think my vagina is haunted
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize