I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
