I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
