You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
