note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
