whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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