I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I want her autograph on my taint
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
