This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
