I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize