i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
