I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
