Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
