I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
