Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
