im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
