That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
