she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
