i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
