So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
