playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
