McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
