please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
she smelled like a LAN party
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
