Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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