do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
